Archive for May, 2019
Caring For Yourself As a Caregiver
- Published on Saturday, 25 May 2019 19:47
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Photo by Allie Smith
Do you find yourself serving others from the “Depths of Your Well”? Maybe you work in a hospital, clinic, rehab center or other care facility. Or your passion in life is being a parent and caring for your children. Perhaps you are being there for someone in your immediate family who is in need of your care. Whatever your circumstances, you are committed to helping others. But after you do, you feel too empty to take care of yourself.
If you are breezing through each day feeling energized by what you do, taking time to take care of yourself from the inside out, eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep, then you do not need to read the rest of this article. However, if you are struggling with being able to accomplish any of these essentials as you are caring for others, please read on…
You probably already know what you need to do to take care of yourself. And whatever way you choose to do that is your own personal choice. I believe the real issue here is how do you find the time and energy to care for yourself as you care for others? How do you tap into creating that “Overflow”?
Through years of caring for my parents, my spouse, and others in hospitals as a nurse, I have discovered 4 easy steps that have made all the difference in my ability to feel energized by what I do as a caregiver. They also helped me start to take better care of myself from the inside out.
Here are the 4 steps I discovered:
Learn to say “NO”
Get in touch with your own truth, listen to your heart and trust your intuition. When choosing to do anything, if it’s feels like a little bit of a “No” then just say ”NO”. Respect your own boundaries.
Have more FUN
Laugh more at yourself and look for more of the Fun in the situation. Be easy with yourself knowing that you are doing your best. When you are having Fun you are opening up to more positive outcomes.
ASK for help
You aren’t alone. There are people all around you who are more than willing to help you. Asking for their help gives them permission to support you when you need it.
SEARCH for what uplifts and energizes you
As a caregiver, I found that looking at uplifting photos and quotes on Facebook helped me feel more energized and connected to my inner self. It was this step that helped me focus on creating more ways to feel better.
I encourage you to find what uplifts and energizes you to care for yourself. By finding better feeling thoughts about being a caregiver you will begin to take better feeling actions that will benefit you and those you are caring for.
Following these steps on a daily basis will help you find more time and energy to care for yourself. Then it will be easier to serve others “from your Overflow”.
Looking for more support caring for yourself as a caregiver? Go to Caregiver’s Oasis on Facebook and enjoy more resources and inspiring posts.
Loving Light and Smiles,
Who’s My Real Mother?
- Published on Saturday, 11 May 2019 23:23
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Have you lost your mother either through adoption, illness, or death? Maybe you’ve always known your mother but feel you have never had a real connection to her. How much do you look outside of yourself for guidance, answers, direction, and support? Does it feel like there is something more than what other mother figures have to offer you? You could be looking for your real mother, the one you think you lost somehow or feel you never had.
As a young girl, my mother was always ill. My older sister was the one who took care of me as if she was my mother and so I kept treating her like she was my mother. It was disappointing when I got older and realized that she couldn’t even come close to being my mother even though she tried her best to take care of me when my own mother couldn’t.
As I grew up and realized that she wasn’t my mother, I continued searching for a mother on an unconscious level. Every woman I met who seemed to have the answers that I wanted and needed, I unconsciously made them a mother figure. And I asked them about everything and how to do everything almost as if I needed their guidance, support, and approval. As a result, I ended up either giving them my power or pushing them away.
After my mother died, I repeated this pattern year after year through many different scenarios with many different people from girlfriends to “ gurus”, from neighbors to my father’s new wife, always feeling disillusioned with the results I received. None of these women totally resonated with me or fit what and who I thought my mom should be. So, I would end up either pushing them away or they would end up leaving me to figure it out on my own.
Life can be challenging when you don’t feel like you have a mother figure, especially for a child or young adult who needs that Guiding Light. Most of the time I felt lost. I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing or not. I constantly apologized to other people that I felt I offended because I was so insecure. I didn’t know that I was Divinely perfect because my mother didn’t reflect that back to me.
I was guided to follow many different Self Help programs and teachers to help heal my life of trauma and abuse. I started to find the truth of who I am and became more connected to my Higher Self. However, even during this time, I unconsciously tried to make these teachers my mother.
After searching for my mother outside of myself, I finally realized that the mother I was looking for was the Goddess right inside me! She was just waiting to wake up and be my guide, teacher and best friend. She is the Bright Shining Light deep within me that comes from my Higher Self. She is the Goddess that is deeply imprinted into the DNA of all of my cells and has been a part of me all along, even before I was born. She is the Wise Woman that has always guided me even when I felt alone. I didn’t realize she was there at the time, but now I do and I no longer search for her in other women. I am now confident in My Own Knowing, My Own Truth, and My Own Awareness of what is right and wrong for me. I now know that I came into this world with a deep inner knowing that I thought my physical mother was supposed to teach me.
However, many of the women in my life were there to help me find my true self and help me on my journey. They knew full well that they did not have my answers and that I was the only one who knew my own truth, and what was right for me. I am so grateful for and truly honor all of the amazing women who helped guide me along the way. They were the ones who kept guiding me back to myself, no matter how uncomfortable it was at the time. I am forever grateful to them for helping me find my own way back to me.
If you are looking for your Real Mother, maybe it’s time for you to connect with that Goddess Mother inside of you. She is the one that knows you better than anyone else, has all of your answers and is just waiting to guide you to be the empowered person you came here to be. Even if you are a man, you also have that feminine part within you that will help you bring balance to your masculine nature.
How do you make that connection? I have created a powerful visualization journey that will help you. It’s called “Connecting to the Mother Within”. As you read these words, trusting and believing in this process, you will be able to start to build a beautiful relationship with your real mother inside you. So let’s begin…
“Allow yourself to grow calm, breathing deeply and slowly several times, in and out, until you feel fully present in this moment. If your mind wanders just gently refocus it and bring it back with your breath.
Now imagine that you are in a beautiful meadow and it is the perfect time of day for you. Feel the warmth of the sun on your body as you begin to feel excited to meet this part of you, your mother within.
Off in the distance, see someone walking toward you. She is Radiantly Beautiful. She is Glowing. Her smile is so warm it touches your Heart. The closer she gets, you notice her arms are outstretched and she is beckoning you into her embrace.
You feel yourself run to meet her. You know her so well. You now know that she has always been there with you. Her arms wrap around you and you feel so deeply loved, accepted and appreciated on every level.
Now she invites you to sit down in the meadow with her and you share the sweetest heart to heart connection. She helps you easily find your own answers to any of your questions. She also helps you build more Self Confidence in following your heart, trusting and believing what is true for you no matter what anyone else says or thinks. You pause here to bask in her love and receive her wisdom…
As you do, you feel stronger than you ever have before. The part of you that you thought was missing, your Real Mother is here with you now. Feel the wholeness, the unconditional Love, the Freedom to be YOU!
When you are ready to come back to the present moment, take a few beautiful deep breaths in and out, feel the surface underneath you, and wiggle your fingers and toes. Notice that you still feel the Loving presence of your Mother Within. She is always with you.”
(©2019 Nada Howarth)
Each time you go through this process, you will continue to build a deeper relationship with the Real Mother within You. ENJOY!!!
Loving Light and Smiles,
How Being a People Pleaser Can be Empowering
- Published on Sunday, 05 May 2019 20:33
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Being a people pleaser can feel draining, demeaning, and unrewarding. Yet many of us were trained so well to do just that. You might even feel that you will never be able to turn that program around. Who says you have to? Why not start with where you are, using what you do best to help you take the next step toward the empowerment you truly desire and deserve?
How do you do this? From my experience, I created a Four-Step Process that will help you do this with ease and fun.
1. The first step is to Change your Perspective and Attitude. By changing your attitude and perspective about your job, you will develop a clear understanding that there is a difference between pleasing others and simply doing what your job requires you to do. If you have been a devoted people pleaser in the past, you are probably better able to know what your job requires and able to do it easier than someone who has never played that game before. And chances are you are able to hold a higher and more longstanding position in the company you work for. You can be counted on to do it the way they want it done, putting your own ideas aside for the time being.
Take Action: Allow yourself to go to work every day with the awareness that you are a valuable employee as a people pleaser and find reasons to be grateful for the job you have. Being grateful is an excellent way to shift your perspective about your job and you will be recognized even more for bringing this positive attitude to work with you every day. This one step alone is enough to empower you, but if you want to take people pleasing to the next level, keep reading…
2. The second step is to Value Your Own Ideas and Visions. You do not need to “sell your soul” to work for someone else. They are blessed to have you. They may or may not even know you have gifts and ideas that will help them and their company prosper or even work more efficiently. They do know that you have the company’s best interest at heart and you will notice how open they are to your suggestions and ideas once you begin changing your perspective.
Take Action: Simply take your inspired ideas to a deeper level of creativity, giving yourself the best of both worlds by discovering productive and non-threatening ways to present or even implement them so that everyone wins in the process. This comes from using your own creative intuition to the max and usually entails gathering some hardcore facts, showing on paper how it could work better, and being prepared to answer every possible question about it.
3. The third step is Timing. Your sense of timing is the critical part of being able to present or even implement your own inspired ideas about a project, work plan or process. Follow your gut feelings and be willing to do this in a moments notice when the door is open and when what you have discovered in step #2 is ready to share.
Take Action: Practice what you will say and have all your documentation organized so that when the time is right you can confidently present it all at any moment.
4. The final step is Don’t Give Up. Even if your idea isn’t received or accepted the first, second or third time… You have the ability to go back to the drawing board with the feedback they gave you and use it to fuel a clearer vision of any modifications you need to make.
Take Action: Listen to why they say it doesn’t work for them and ask them what they want or need instead. Go back to step #2 and expand your creativity even more, including ways to modify your idea that include more of what they do want. Do your research, documentation, practice what you will say and then wait for that perfect opportunity to present what you discover.
This process can feel very empowering and takes people pleasing to a new level of opening up to your creativity. So then when they say jump and you say how high, it comes from a space of expansion and empowerment.
Loving Light and Smiles,